The decision of staying in Australia or moving to Taiwan wasn’t easy. I couldn’t just flip a coin and let that be it. I had to really think about what exactly it was that I wanted right now and in the future.
I’m incredibly happy in Australia and I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up just yet.
When it comes down to it, it’s all about regret. Life is about living with as little regret as possible. Will I regret not moving to Taiwan or will I regret not staying in Australia? Will I regret not pursuing my career or will I regret not pursuing a relationship?
I knew which decision would reap the least regret, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Maybe because I never thought I would actually be one of ‘those’ people.
I’m staying in Australia and taking a chance on love.
There’s a lot at stake here. For me and for him. We’re both young – 27 and 26 respectively – from two different countries, backgrounds, and lifestyles. Yet, we have similar hopes, dreams, and passions for life. Me choosing to stay for this relationship certainly puts some added pressure on him. My tourist visa expires on August 25th, at which point I’ll have to leave the country (unless I leave sooner to renew my tourist visa) and apply for a working visa so I can return to Australia to live and work for one year and continue to make things work between us.
And then there are the emotional risks. I’m falling hard and fast for this man. Maybe it’s his Australian accent (swoon) or maybe it’s because I haven’t been in a relationship in a while and everything is still in that ‘honeymoon’ phase, but it’s starting to get more challenging to keep my heart protected.
But as scary as it is knowing that I’m willing to make big sacrifices for a man without a guarantee of this relationship working out, I realized that I’m finally ready to be in a mature, committed relationship. Eventually you reach a point in your life when you’re no longer afraid to get hurt. That’s exactly where I am right now. I’m terrified of falling in love again, but I want to give this relationship – and this man – everything I have because I believe it’s the only way to live passionately and with intention.
I’m finally ready to love again.
I know it sounds crazy – to sacrifice a job opportunity for a relationship that might not work out – but what if it does work? What if this is it? I want to take this chance. I finally found a genuine man who doesn’t play games and knows what he wants and I can’t let myself walk away from him yet. I’ve already met his parents, brothers, and closest friends (I told you things move faster when you live abroad). This is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in and after all I’ve been through, I deserve this.