I’m lucky that my best friend and I have known each other our entire lives. Literally. Our moms were best friends before we were born. She was at my first birthday party. We took dance lessons together for 14 years. We’ve been on more family vacations together than I can count and she came to visit me when I lived in France and New York City. We’ve gone through break-ups together and over the last two years we’ve spent almost every Tuesday night together watching Glee.
She’s the first person I call when I’m having a bad day and the first person I want to celebrate with when I have exciting news. When I talk, she listens. When I’m sad, she’s there for me. She buys me dinner without expecting anything in return and she understands all of my quirks. She gets me and I get her. We’re best friends.
The thing is, on Friday she’s getting married!
Even though I keep telling myself over and over, I still can’t believe it.
I co-hosted a lingerie shower for her last weekend and that’s when I realized we are grown ups.
It hit me at the end of the evening. After my friend had opened her presents, after we filled up on various cheeses and cupcakes, and we were sipping on champagne. There was talk of the group heading downtown to a bar, but all I wanted to go was go home to my comfortable bed.
In my defense, I had run 5 miles that afternoon and then spent two hours prepping for the shower by cleaning my friend’s condo and assembling the oh-so-delicious food. By the end of the night my feet were killing me!
I felt guilty that I wanted to skip out on the fun at the bar, but I was so tired. I wrestled with my inner guilt for a good five minutes. How often does your best friend get married?! But I have to run 4 miles tomorrow morning. It’s just one night out! And she’s your BEST FRIEND!
Finally, I just asked my friend if she would mind if I went home. And guess what? She said she didn’t mind at all. She gave me a hug and told me to drive safely. I told her to call me if she needed anything and then I made my way to my car. I was home and in bed by 11pm and it was glorious.
That’s what I call true friendship. When you want to be there for someone, to celebrate or to support. When you want to create those memories and cherish those moments. But it’s also when you can chose to go home early without feeling judged or hurting any feelings. It’s about compromise, understanding, respect, and love.
I know our friendship will go through some changes over these next few months. I know we’ll both have to adjust to her new marriage, but I have faith in us. I mean, we’ve already made it 27 years together. I think we’ll be okay.