All We Have Is Now

Written by Molly Mahar

“All we have is now. If it doesn’t drive you, or delight you, stop doing it right now, and start doing something you love. If there’s someone who inspires you, let them know. If there’s someone you love, tell ’em. You have absolutely NO time to waste.”  -Birdie of Bonne Vie

You know when you get so far down a certain path, you forget why you started?  Or where you’re heading?

Well, my loves, it’s a bit scary how easily life can feel like that.  We can wake up in the morning and continue about our day, our week, our year, or hell–even our life–without taking stock, without even realizing we’re running on autopilot, without ever letting ourselves dream of being truly happy.

Sometimes the evaluation of our life is so damn depressing that we just ignore it and carry on. We feel like change is hopeless, like we’ve backed ourselves into a corner that has no escape.  We believe we can’t make a change because we’ll fail, or it’s too uncertain, or that people will think we’re crazy.

We’re held in place by that thought that this might be all that’s in the cards for us and we might as well get used to it.

I mean, isn’t life supposed to be hard?  Aren’t we supposed to suck it up?

Maybe you feel stuck in a relationship or a job or a group of friends.  Maybe it’s in your entire career choice, or your city, or your marriage.  Maybe it’s how you treat your body, or your employees, or your planet.  Whatever the case may be, you’re avoiding any deep thinking about it because some part of you knows when you admit to yourself how wrong “it” is, you’ll have to do something about it.

And doing something about “it” is hard.  And scary.  And you’re not sure you have the energy, or plan, or focus to actually make a change or new choice.

Sometimes that evaluation of our life and our happiness is tricky because we’re not sure what it is we do want. We know we desperately want a change or a new focus, but we just don’t know what the hell that is…  And that thought freaks us out even more.  How am I supposed to move forward, make more deliberate choices, if I don’t know what it is I’m moving towards?

This sort of uncertainty can be paralyzing for most of us.  We’re seeking a sign, trying things on for size, and throwing out new ideas almost as soon as we try them.

We typically don’t give ourselves enough time or freedom to explore, to play, or to follow our wildest dreams because it doesn’t seem practical. We’re scared we’re going to run out of money, be seen as flighty, burn bridges, and be accused of being unrealistic.

Passion?   Fulfillment?  Who actually feels that way?

Here’s what I know for sure, doll.

1)  You are not alone if any of the above sounds familiar.  You are not alone in feeling confused, or lost, or uninspired, even if you do all the “right” things.  You’re not alone if you’re faking it with a “happy face” and feeling like one little crack in admitting the truth will cause the whole charade to come crashing down. You’re not alone if the pressure to keep up the appearance of doing well is driving you crazy.

2)  You absolutely deserve to live a life that lights you up.  A life where you deeply feel love, fear, excitement, sadness, joy, peace, the whole gamut.  A life that fits you in all your individual quirks and strengths.  A life that allows you to share your gifts with the world and be present to all the fantastic fucking wonder that is out there.

3) Though it may sound counter intuitive, accepting and loving yourself in your current situation is absolutely the first step.  Love it up where you are. Utterly and completely embrace the current version of your life. It’s the only way to grow and change in a sustainable way…

4) Deliberate growth is absolutely possible with the an intrinsic, sexy, motivating PLAN.  With unending SUPPORT.  With accountability, and systems, and a sense of greater PURPOSE.

I was reminded this last week of my purpose.  I was in the presence of so many women truly living their passions, calling the shots in their own lives, and serving the world in such a powerful way.  It reminded me of the words I wrote over 2 years ago, when Stratejoy was still “Company X”…

“This is life.  This is it.  Are you being who you want to be? Doing what you want to do?”

And you know what?  That’s still my purpose. I help women explore those questions through coaching, through groups, through writing, through connecting with YOU.

And my clients?  My amazing inner circle?  They grow.  They kick some ass.  They connect with themselves in way that’s never happened before and leave our work together feeling stronger, more confidant in their own choices, and comfortable in their own skin.  They start businesses, and go back to school, and leave abusive relationships.  They travel the world, find rockstar jobs, and take more pleasure in the small things.

They are YOU.

“I wasn’t sure how I’d feel when school ended today, but I surprised myself by being really at peace and proud of myself for making a deliberate, good decision for myself. I think that this is the first major decision I have ever made totally for myself.  I wanted you to know what a powerful influence you’ve had on my life in such a short time.  It is a real talent to be able to guide people to know themselves better in a way that is both non-intrusive (you don’t do the work for your client), but very reassuring all at the same time. I am so grateful that I found you and that you knew what the heck a quarterlife crisis was :)”   -Erin

“Molly, you are one of those fabulous women I feel like I’ve known my whole life.  I was at a point in my life where I wanted not only a coach but a mentor (and at times a big sister) to help me get to the next level in my personal and professional life.  You have the ability to connect people to their own personal power, truth, and the joy of living an authentic and meaningful life.  With your help, I was able to get  unstuck, break the cycle of old habits and start taking big action steps on my dreams.  I feel so blessed to not only have worked with you, but to call you my friend.”  -Nicole

“I felt inspired to write you a HUGE THANK YOU email for everything you have done on these coaching calls.  I have been opening up to my close friends about participating in the group coaching session and how much of an impact they have made to my life in just 6 short weeks! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing what you are doing. I wouldn’t be where I am without you. I have a new-found confidence in my abilities to run a business and whatever the outcome may be, I will be so happy that I tried. So thank you thank you thank you for your endless energy and constant positive re-enforcement.” -Meredith

IS IT YOUR TIME?!

For the rest of 2010, I’ll be offering one-time power sessions for $100. I want to make this as easy on you as possible.  You buy one with the button below, we set up a time to talk for 75 minutes, and you fill out a quick intake form so I know what you want to jam on.

No further obligation, no mind twisting pitches.

Just you + me + a supportive, inspiring, creative strategy session about YOUR LIFE. Maybe you want to talk 2011 planning… Maybe you want to talk starting your own business…. Maybe you want to talk leaving a miserable situation…. Whatever it may be, I am here for YOU.

All we have is now, sister.

p.s.  If it’s not the right fit for you, stayed tuned…. All sorts of new Stratejoy goodies are on tap for 2011.

– See more at: http://www.stratejoy.com/2010/11/all-we-have-is-now/#sthash.SCL3Tl3L.dpuf

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